This is such and timely and wonderful post. Thank you for sharing and I am sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents within last 6 months… I was minimal contact with them. I have done years of work to understand my abuse was not my fault. My siblings were treated very differently because I protected them and I am the bad one now for not grieving like them. I grieved them along time ago so my grief is different. No one understands. But I need to remember all you said.
My mother… when my mother was very sick and I was 41 years old, I drove 3000 miles, to sit by her bed, brush her hair and rub lotion on her feet, hoping she could show me grace while she was still on this earth. But, it was not to be! With tubes running down her throat, so she could not speak, she glared at me, even kicked me as I walked by! Because? Because I took my children to a different church than she attended. She knew when I married my husband he was not a member of her church and that was fine, but then, 8 years later, my Dad died, and she got “religious”. Suddenly, I was bound for Hell… She said terrible things about me and to me… Weeks later she died.
Wow, I feel like you have been looking at my family, and all the heartbreaking things that people do to each other. Sometimes I feel like I am the only family member holding everything together, and keeping the family reunions active. I give you credit that your able to open up to friends, something I can't seem to do. Your writings have really helped me deal with personal issues within my life. Keep doing what you do, it works. Thank you.
Well, good for you, opening up just a bit here. That's a very brave step to take. And I am so grateful that our hearts have connected and that you feel like my writings help you. It means the world to me to know that.
This is such and timely and wonderful post. Thank you for sharing and I am sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents within last 6 months… I was minimal contact with them. I have done years of work to understand my abuse was not my fault. My siblings were treated very differently because I protected them and I am the bad one now for not grieving like them. I grieved them along time ago so my grief is different. No one understands. But I need to remember all you said.
I'm right there with you my friend. I understand.
E ❤️
My mother… when my mother was very sick and I was 41 years old, I drove 3000 miles, to sit by her bed, brush her hair and rub lotion on her feet, hoping she could show me grace while she was still on this earth. But, it was not to be! With tubes running down her throat, so she could not speak, she glared at me, even kicked me as I walked by! Because? Because I took my children to a different church than she attended. She knew when I married my husband he was not a member of her church and that was fine, but then, 8 years later, my Dad died, and she got “religious”. Suddenly, I was bound for Hell… She said terrible things about me and to me… Weeks later she died.
I am so sorry my friend. Your mom was so unhealed. And you are such a great mom to your kids!!
Wow, I feel like you have been looking at my family, and all the heartbreaking things that people do to each other. Sometimes I feel like I am the only family member holding everything together, and keeping the family reunions active. I give you credit that your able to open up to friends, something I can't seem to do. Your writings have really helped me deal with personal issues within my life. Keep doing what you do, it works. Thank you.
Well, good for you, opening up just a bit here. That's a very brave step to take. And I am so grateful that our hearts have connected and that you feel like my writings help you. It means the world to me to know that.
I am sorry for your loss, in all its phases. Losing people to broken relationships creates a messy grief. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you my friend and you are so welcome. It is very messy.